What’s Your Value Tied To?

Today I’m grateful for this reminder from an amazing friend…

We are NOT responsible for ANY outcome. We are ONLY responsible for our own effort we put forth. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had the opposite of this belief hardwired into my brain. I’ve told myself… “Even if you try your best and you DON’T win, your effort isn’t good enough… YOU’RE not good enough!”

Back in 2018, I read a book called “Chasing Excellence” by Ben Bergeron.  He says that we’re only ever called to DO our best, not BE the best. I HATED that concept. I would argue with Fernando about this concept, saying… if you can’t WIN, then what’s the point? Winning is everything! Being the best is everything! My identity was tied to being the BEST. If you can’t be the best, then who are you?? Nothing… And I couldn’t live with the belief that I was nothing.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve wrestled with this concept that “effort is the only thing that matters… not the outcome” (even writing this I can feel myself questioning whether this is really a true statement!) I’ve even dipped my toe into the water of starting to believe it, only to retreat to the safety of my old beliefs. Why is this so scary and so hard for me to believe? Because my identity was tied to being the best (and still is somewhat)!

I still remember the first day I started buying into this new concept. Fernando and I were eating lunch in the Seattle airport, waiting for our next flight to take off to Hawaii for our wedding. He was reading “Chop Wood Carry Water” and said he wanted to share something with me. The main character of the book says… “Your value is constant, it is priceless, and it never truly goes up or down based off of results or your performance… do the hard work of reminding yourself that your value comes from who you are. For me… my identity comes from being a child of God, and that He recklessly and unconditionally loves me.” Fernando and I looked at each other, and I broke down.

Today I’m grateful for an incredible God that takes care of the outcome, so I don’t have to worry about it. And I’m grateful for Him sending people into my life to remind me of this and to save me from the prison I’ve lived in my entire life, believing that if I wasn’t the best, I was nothing.

You may read this and think this doesn’t apply to you. But I challenge you to ask yourself what your identity IS tied to… and I DON’T mean the pretty answer you’d like to think you believe… Look to your actions…  How many times have you shied away from a challenge, because you’re embarrassed of how you’ll perform compared to others? There’s that word again… “perform”. How many times have you decided not to even try, because you aren’t sure you will succeed… or you KNOW you won’t succeed. What if you challenged yourself and CHOSE to believe that your results don’t matter, because you aren’t responsible for them…and what others think about you doesn’t matter, because only God determines your worth…

But here’s the hard twist… we ARE responsible for our effort! So if you’re not giving your best effort, you’re letting yourself down. Focus on what you can control… and you CAN control your effort! It sounds like an easier standard, but I assure you it’s not an easy standard… it’s just a healthier one. Ask yourself, in everything you do… was I giving my best effort? And if the answer to that is “no”, it doesn’t mean you’re worthless… it just means you’re selling yourself short. You deserve better!  Live up to your value!

Today I’m grateful for these hard but invaluable lessons!


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